Life. One simple word. A four-letter word that paralyzes several while brings joy to others. According to the dictionary the definition is the existence of an individual human being or animal. Existence as in alive and breathing. The one thing that crosses everyone’s mind at some point is What is the meaning of Life? Everyone will get a different answer but it should all lead to the same conclusion.
Before I accepted Jesus in my heart I questioned the meaning of life daily and how I fit in. I always felt like I somehow slipped through the cracks and no one noticed me or wanted me. For the longest time, I had a huge void in my heart. My self-esteem was low and I was very insecure. We all have a void in our hearts that only Jesus can fill. Some people turn to drugs, some turn to sex, some turn to alcohol to try to fill that void. It is only temporary. All those things will fill your heart but it won’t take long before the emptiness comes back. Trust me! It will.
It wasn’t until I found Jesus that I totally got it! The void was permanently filled with love! I have always gone to church. I was finding that I went to church not to hear from God but because my dad told me to. As I got older it was just something I checked off my to do list. I knew about Jesus and God but it wasn’t until May of 2010 that I had a talk with God for the first time. I poured my heart out to God. Totally rocked an ugly girl cry! When I was done I felt like a ton of bricks was lifted off my shoulders. I felt peaceful, calm, and relaxed. It almost felt like I was breathing for the first time.
To be completely honest with you it all started because my little sister told me she was pregnant. I was so happy because I was going to be an aunt again but something inside me was angry. That was jealousy. Jealous because me and my husband had tried for many years to have a baby. We went to many doctor appointments to see what the problem was, new medicines to try to conceive, one after another. Seemed like I was never going to have a baby. After praying God clearly told me that he was in control and that it was in his timing not mine. I believe God was waiting for me to give him full control before he would bless us. He came through because two months later I found out I was pregnant. We still call our oldest son our miracle baby!
It wasn’t until I fully submitted to God and accepted him into my heart that he started changing me. Changing how I see things, how I do things, how I talk. Everything! My life has been one blessing after another. I pray that I can continue to be faithful and obedient to his word. I pray the same for everyone who reads this.